One facet of my multi-pronged approach to learning French through self-imposed cultural immersion involves watching French movies, so last week on Netflix, I queued dozens of French-language flicks to watch on DVD as well as via the “Watch Instantly” feature.
Mr. P was pleased. “Let’s watch Breathless,” he said as he browsed our Netflix Instant queue.
I recoiled, my mind already surfeited on French New Wave from our painful screening of Godard’s Masculin, féminin more than 2 months ago. “Hmmm… I kind of wanted to see this other movie in our queue,” I said. “It’s called Grande école.”
I leaned over Mr. P’s shoulder, clicked the movie in question, and read the summary: “This drama directed by Robert Salis and inspired by playwright Jean-Marie Besset examines how class, race and social standing still wield a mighty influence in modern-day France, most notably in the shark-infested waters of private school.”
Mr. P looked hesistant, so I pointed at the DVD’s cover illustration, which featured a background of bare torsos mashed together. “It looks pretty sexy!” I said in a mock-tempting voice.
So we ended up watching Grande école. And to quote my poor husband… I’ve never seen so much penis in my life.
The movie started out with a graphic heterosexual sex scene. But that’s pretty typical for French cinema. Hell, it’s pretty typical for French television.
About 15 minutes later there was a prolonged scene in a men’s locker room featuring 20, um, members of the French water polo team cavorting in the showers. Well, hello full frontal male nudity! What do you have to do with the plot?
The main character has a girlfriend, but he seems to have an undeniable fondness for good-looking men, including his dreamy upper-class roommate, and a handsome Arab maintenance worker at the school.
During a slightly odd scene, the main character and his roommate sit in bed together and the roommate reads a homoerotic passage of literature. At this point, Mr. P says “I know where this movie is going.”
“What do you mean?”
“This is a gay movie.”
“No it’s not! It’s about ‘class, race and social standing in the shark-infested waters of private school.'”
As if to expressly disprove me, the main character goes out to dinner with the handsome Arab maintenance worker, who kisses him and totally freaks him out. Then we promptly return to the men’s locker room for a 2-minute sequence of full frontal male nudity.
“Ok, turn it off!” I ordered Mr. P, who was sulking with his eyes half-closed. “I admit, it’s a gay movie. An extremely gay movie.”
“Of course it’s a gay movie,” Mr. P said. “You couldn’t tell from the beginning? The way the characters talked, walked, dressed, stared at each other’s penises?”
“No, I didn’t think it was gay. I just thought it was French!”
