Mr. P’s sister is planning to entertain the guests at our French wedding reception with a slideshow and I was asked to provide old photos of myself for fodder. I’ve been to a few weddings with similar presentations that embarrass the Bride and Groom by invoking life’s more awkward phases, so I was tempted to pick only the most flattering, cute pictures to scan and send to her.
But how snore-inducing would that be? Wouldn’t French people much rather be scandalized by this uncouth picture of 2 year-old me, back when my underdeveloped hand-mouth coordination rendered me unable to efficiently consume a lollipop? I can already hear the hush of shock, as the French with their impeccable table manners and their deep-seeded distrust of snacks realize that the woman they are welcoming into their bloodline is, at core, a sugar-smeared American who consumes gigantic lollipops with a dull vacuous look in her eyes.
