An article in today’s Boston Globe reveals that city officials are exploring ways to improve the Boston Common. The City Council’s “Special Committee on the Boston Common” was formed last year, and after studying the issues, weighing the feasibility of various alternatives, and even sending a delegation to tour the parks of New York City, this braintrust of elected officials are expected to recommend (drum roll please)… a fenced-in dog park and a full-scale commercial restaurant!
To emphasize the absurd lacking of this suggestion, please indulge me for the next two paragraphs…
Founded in 1634 as a cow pasture, the Boston Common is the country’s oldest park. It sits smack next to the MA State House and Beacon Hill, the Theatre District, Newbury Street, and Downtown Crossing, meaning it is within walking distance to nearly every noteworthy store and restaurant in Boston proper. The Boston Common is located above the hub subway station Park Street and is intersected by the Freedom Trail, making it a destination for both tourists and residents. The Boston Common should be symbolic of our city’s historic past, our egalitarian tree-hugging present, and our liberal utopian future.
Instead, the Boston Common is cluttered with broken benches and trash cans that are rountinely emptied by the wind. There are currently three infestations: Pigeons, squirrels, and crackhead bums. The pigeons congregate in slow-moving flocks and have long lost their fear of humans or their approaching feet. The squirrels exhibit aggressive behavior towards anyone holding food or a plastic bag which may or may not contain food. And the crackhead bums beg, literally beg, for money. I’m not talking about young hipsters who hold signs about “Help me get to Florida” and politely ask for quarters. I’m talking about mean little homeless men who sit on benches and call vaguely threatening things to pedestrians, like “Hey blondie you got any spare change? I know you can hear me,” and then some of his cackling friends on the next bench pick up the chorus “Spare change?” and the pigeons and squirrels seem to congregate at unspoken behest of a tight cluster of shabby men sitting nearby on the grass. Despite the near-constant presence of police, most genteel people avoid the Common after dark.
So what does the City Council propose to do? Designate a dog park, an official area for the scores of moneyed dog owners who have already claimed out an unofficial area to allow their canines to run, play, and poop. Maybe it sounds petty of me to reject this assertion of canine rights, but the fact remains that precious few of the Common’s 50 acres remain unoccupied, and to officially allot a tract of free space for the express use of dogs is a simple belittlement of humanity. We are their masters. We should not cede our precious green space in order to give them a designated place to crap.
As for the restaurant, well, considering there are at least 50 restaurants that flank the Boston Common, putting one in the Boston Common is just another waste of space, especially since I suspect it’s going to be an eatery for the childless dog owners to go and nibble upon $40 entrees in a fortress-like atmosphere cloistered from the pigeons, squirrels, and crackhead bums.
