While combing through my website statistics to cull these weird and wild search engine queries, I begin to get the feeling that I can gauge a person’s intellect based on how they phrase search terms. Like, who are these people using whole interrogative sentences? That is sooo AskJeeves. It’s like “Oh, I’m going to ask the Internet a question and it’s going to answer me. So does Billie Joe Armstrong go to Sonoma or Napa?” Notice that out of all the interrogrative search engine queries listed below (and I get a ton more that are too bland to post here), this website answers none of them, except maybe the last one.
But for every dumb question, there are well-constructed queries that are equally as compelling for their succinctness, eloquence, and mystery. “Beet greens sleepy”, for example or “United Nations poetry”, or “middlesex fells naked guy.” These people have mastered the art of Googling, and while they will not find what they’re looking for on this website, I’m sure they’ll find it somewhere, if it exists.
INTERROGATIVE
what is a circular walking game in which players may win a cake
can an improper managed nuclear plant explode
how to cook a fresh killed chicken relax
why did woman chain themselves to greenhome common
how does green days song american idiot convey belonging
does anyone have a catchy “save the rainforest” slogan
where can i buy lobster cloth lobster bibs
where is the closest ben and jerry’s from saugus
how does hollywood turn a desk into skittles in a time span of 1/16 of a second
what could a typical diner or lunch counter sound like
how to make hare krishna peanut butter balls
where can i find video of chris farley as john kruk
is it alright to feed squirrels salted sunflower seeds
how does the green patches around the sides of the nails occur
why do people in cars treat walkers like were from another freakin planet
is it ok to wear a leopard dress at three o’clock in the afternoon
how does the new brawny paper towel icon appeal to women
does billie joe armstrong go to sonoma or napa
what’s my name
how to attract suburban housewives to mall kiosks
did carolyn bessette kennedy shop at barney’s dept. store
how enron company got away with unethical, immoral, and illegal activities for so long
under the “travel” section of the my generation page, in the “america’s favorite cities in 2008 article”, which city was noted for having the best singles scene
looking for a movie possibly horror, with single man on snowmobile who comes to a cottage and after meeting a family he tells them he will kill them all and begins to do exactly that
witch pamper dissolves more water 6th grade project
what the fuck is wrong with you, america
QUOTES
“ivy league felons”
“the ultimate warrior’s” diet
ronald reagan appeared in smoking advertisements. the “cool kids” all smoked.
“microsoft hate page”
“5 inch heels” “all day”
“worst christmas presents” socialite
“hare krishna” “pro choice”
“artificial weight gain”
“russian grandmother” soap
band spectacular “defiance high school”
sheet music piano “we care a lot”
“squirrels all i really want is squirrels”
CELEBRITY/BRANDS/SLIGHTLY SMUTTY
beer mug with ladies who undress
x-rated men in kilts exposed
hbo booty bandit
hidden video clip of honeymoon bedroom scene
full house dj tanner fanlisting
my so called life angela chase sing song violent femmes
wal-mart, sensual piano
smoosh babybel
listerine to cure baldness
driver-navigated escalade
andy claimed that campbells soup was a daily dietary staple
three blondes having sex in a spaceship
cloris leachman vegetable photoshoot
kraft macaroni and cheese commercial i got the blues sexist
jolt gum environmental factors
$27,000 prada fur coat
watch the hidden fuhrer: debating the enigma of hitler’s sexuality online free
pictures babes holding a branch of ganja
david schimmer’s parents biography
EVERYTHING ELSE
green days use of rhythmic patterns
greendays band names there names
wemon football commentators
methacton spanking
methacton means evil hill
green urine after spin class
heeureeuse
giant concrete rooster
neuron necklace
ticklingemotion
green smoothies early morning anxiety
african american wedding cake toppers groom fleeing
lost in space a clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caliginous
fitting room underwear employee undress
online science quizee
huffing hand sanitizer
recipe take a seed get a pot make a hole dig a bit not a lot poem poetry
tigger pool parlance
bras heels tight skirts wife
ladybug good luck poem for cheerleaders
old military veneral disease films
mt monadnock too challenging young children
advice columns in newspapers for distopian
translation of name charbel from english to chinese
united nations poetry
foxhound nude pictures
legislation fragrance samples in newspapers
beet greens sleepy
red white and blue orthodontists massachusetts
hare krishna my boyfriend is a help
maggots and metaphors: a case study on necrophilia
green green days and green green nights
pictures of bush with no hand over heart during the star spangled banner
by god, i shall floss you, mr. christian! i shall floss you until your teeth rattle!
