The front page of New York Times Business section customarily features pictures of staid industry titans, disgraced white collar criminals, or dumpy Americans shopping at Wal-Mart, pumping gas, and standing in front of their foreclosed homes. So today, it was refreshing to see Strawberry Shortcake in all her pink and strawberry cheery glory. I mean, who can get bent out of shape about inflation, food prices, and other dire economic woes… in a world with Strawberry Shortcake?
The accompanying article, “Beloved Characters as Reimagined for the 21st Century” explained that an “unusually large number of classic characters for children” are being reinvigorated, reimagined, and reintroduced to appeal to the younger generation and their nostalgia-ridden parents. This is why there are in fact two pictures of Strawberry Shortcake: The Strawberry Shortcake who I remember from my girlhood, and the Strawberry Shortcake who has been retooled to resemble a Disney movie cartoon heroine, with long sleek magenta hair (instead of the yarn-like red mess peeking out from bonnet), wispy bare limbs (instead of undefined body mass hidden by a frumpy dress and bloomers), and luminous green eyes (instead of dull black mites).
In additional to her makeover, Strawberry “now prefers fresh fruit to gumdrops, appears to wear just a dab of lipstick (but no rouge), and spends her time chatting on a cellphone instead of brushing her calico cat, Custard.” Now I mean no disrespect to the marketing team at American Greetings or the focus groups whom they spent hours spent drilling about exactly which shade of purple-pink to make Strawberry’s hair, but on what planet does frigging Strawberry Shortcake need a cellphone? Because I don’t think she needs a cell phone in Strawberryland to call up Raspberry Tart, Huckleberry Pie, Apple Dumplin’, and her foes Purple Pie Man and Sour Grapes.
When I played with Strawberry Shortcake dolls, I was pushing 5 years old. I can’t even say why I found Strawberry Shortcake appealing; like most girls that age, I wasn’t too hard to please. Give me some pretty pink dolls with removable clothes and fruit-scented hair, and I was all set. I am depressed to consider Strawberry Shortcake with a cell phone. It reeks of adults and reality infringing on fantasy world of baked goods and happiness.
