I’m taking simple steps to reduce my levels of perceived stress. I removed all Rage Against the Machine from my iPod Shuffle. I’m leaving for the office 25 minutes earlier to avoid the slothful crush of collegial flesh around the Tufts – Harvard – MIT area. I laugh even if I don’t find your small talk to be particularly witty. And most of all, I’m reducing my exposure to politics.
I’m not paying attention to the Republican National Convention, not noticing how the GOP is acting like they’re the reform party, they’re the ones who have to storm Washington, clean up the corruption, and get things working for the American people… when the Republicans have been in control of the White House and Congress for 7 of the 8 past years! The effing audacity! It boils my blood and RATCHETS MY BLOOD PRESSURE!
So a major hurricane hit the Gulf Coast on the exact day that the Republican Convention was due to commence, almost three years to the day after a catastrophic hurricane ravaged the Gulf Coast and the Republican-led Federal Government showed their true, inept colors to the world. Why aren’t all these creationists, these holy-rollers who take the Bible literally and believe that God communicates with humans via occurrences like fiery hail and uncurable boils, why aren’t they regarding these hurricanes as God-imposed calamities meant to dissuade the American people from electing John McCain, war-mongering antichrist?
And don’t even get me started on Sarah Palin, the beguiling distraction whose voice grates my ears like a chorus of tone-deaf troubadors holding yappy toy poodles. If she becomes our first female Vice President, I will cry. After the Republicans have given us the widely-acknowledged worst President ever, should their candidates even be considered viable? What the fuck is wrong with you, America?
I think I’ll go drink some tisane.
