In a surprise move, Floridan voters displayed actual signs of intelligence in yesterday’s Republican primary when they effectively ended Rudy Giuliani’s delusions of Presidency by handing him a distant third-place finish.
Giuliani devoted a bulk of his campaign’s time and resources to winning over the notoriously pliant voters in that notoriously pablum state, hoping to set off a chain-reaction of absolute lunacy across the Red States that would culminate in a Presidential victory.
But it seems even Florida wasn’t impressed enough by Rudy’s opportunistic exploitation of 9/11 to look past his severe moral failings and liberal leanings. Maybe, each time he shook a voter’s hand, a foreboding flash of the Future as ruled by President Giuliani seared their brains: Giant scars of scorched Earth, plumes of smoke, piles of burned bodies, a global holocaust brought about by a bullying, hostile American President and a whore of a First Lady.
“I’m proud that we chose to stay positive and run a campaign of ideas….We ran a campaign that was uplifting,” Giuliani said yesterday, pointedly using the past tense. I don’t know if it was the uplifting positivity or the ideas that turned you off, Florida, but good job. (Extra points for staying off the Huckabee.)
