Today, shortly after noon, I decided to take a lunchtime walk despite the chilly sunless weather that has beset Boston. I set off on my usual route, a roughly 1 1/2 mile loop down to Boston’s World Trade Center and then back via the waterfront. As I neared the WTC, I noticed four Boston Police officers standing on an overpass, peering down at a little-used stretch of highway that serves as a local connector to the Mass Pike (a product of the Big Dig, incidentally). Several other office workers on lunch were milling around, one woman with a silver digital camera clenched in her hand. So of course I stopped and stared at the eerily-empty highway.
I was about to ask one of the women “What are we staring at?” when the sound of rapid-fire gunshots rang out from the highway. Then, a strange convoy became visible. It was a truck towing a large platform that carried a car, some cameras and lighting equipment, and about two dozen people. The truck was going about 30mph and swerving all over the road while the sound of gunshots continued intermittently. Looks like Hollywood magic to me!
I was fairly certain that this was related to the Tom Cruise/Cameron Diaz moview Wichita that was filming in back of my office building on Monday, although my yoga teacher mentioned that a Ben Affleck movie had filmed in his neighborhood last weekend and that the producers put up signs warning residents of gunshots. He mentioned this during yoga class, as we were all bent over in Pigeon pose.
The convoy drove under the overpass and came to a halt right under my nose. I recognized Tom Cruise immediately because he wore the same clothes and reflective sunglasses that he had on Monday. He jumped on the hood of the car, then jumped off, then jumped on again, as if practicing the move. He talked to someone briefly and then looked around the road. And then, he looked up.
God strike me dead if the following paragraph isn’t the absolute truth:
Tom Cruise looked up at the overpass and saw me, two women, and a cop staring at him. Tom Cruise looked straight at me, smiled, and waved. I waved back. One of the women waved too, and yelled “Hi!” But, I know he was looking at me. In fact, the cop even looked at me, as if wondering if I was acquainted with Tom Cruise, because why else would Tom Cruise smile and wave directly at me?
The convoy began slowly backing up on the highway, and everyone rushed to the other side of the overpass to watch. But I continued on my walk, positively glowing. Honestly, I’ve always thought Tom Cruise was kinda a jerk, but right now he’s like a God to me. That smile! Magical! Magnetic! Bewitching!
As a result of this Moment that Tom Cruise and I shared, I can affirm three truths:
- That Wichita looks like the dumbest movie ever but I’m seeing it anyway.
- That, despite the rumors, Tom Cruise is absolutely not gay.
- That I am worthy.
