A school district in rural California has removed Merriam Webster’s dictionaries from all school shelves after a parent complained that her elementary-aged child read the definition for oral sex (noun: oral stimulation of the genital). School officials felt that the “sexually graphic” definition was not “age appropriate” (here). Somehow I think that a definition for oral sex that is age-appropriate for elementary students would a heck of a lot dirtier, because it would involve words like “licking” and “naughty bits.”
Of course, the issue is not the actual wording of the definition, but rather the fact that an entry for oral sex even exists in the dictionary. Which is a new development, because when I was in elementary school, oral sex wasn’t even invented yet. How do I know this? Because it wasn’t in the dictionary.
Believe me, I looked for it. When I was in fourth grade, I scoured the dictionary, learning all about “breast” and “penis” and “sex” and “intercourse.” And, I admit… it totally rotted my mind. Because those words were no longer just words that my classmates bandied around or that I heard in health class. They had unspoken acceptance as normal, desirable behavior by virtue of being defined. Total impetus for virtuoso vocabulary coupled with precocious harlotry.
These parents should be celebrating the fact that kids are looking up anything in the dictionary. And, they should be taking a hint that if their offspring is looking up sexy things in the dictionary, they should be talking him about sex rather than leaving him to satisfy his curiosity with a Merriam Webster’s dictionary. Because, wait until the kid gets a little older and discovers the Internet. Who knows what he will find if he searches for “oral sex?”
