So the Vancouver Winter Olympics have come to an end. Life returns to normal. Americans can go back to forgetting about the existence of roughly a dozen arcane winter sports, Canadians can go back to being a boring place where nothing ever happens, and Norway can go back to XC skiing, which is apparently all that anyone in the country of 5 million ever does. Seriously, what a bunch of fiends.
And Russia can go back to the days of the Gulag, after an enraged Russian Prime Minister Medvedev spoke about his country’s dismal performance in rather omnious terms (here): “Those who are responsible for training for the Olympics must take responsibility. They must have the courage to submit their resignation. And if they do not have this resolve, we will help them.”
Medvedev is so going to go soviet on their asses.
Even better was the Russian hockey coach, who threatened to publicly execute his team in Red Square after they lost to Canada 7-3. I think the Americans should follow suit, and send a strong message to the US men’s and women’s curling teams that we’re not going to keep on tolerating failure on the curling rink. Curlers better start bring home some medals or they’ll be drawn and quartered on the National Mall .
Of course, if anyone deserves physical punishment for their Olympic performance, it is the French short track team. Every time I watched Apolo Onho battle those wily South Koreans in men’s short track, there was always some French guy wiping out on the ice and taking some unfortunate Canadian with him. It was inevitable. “These French fall like dominos” became our household’s Olympic anthem (sung to the tune of These Girls Fall Like Dominoes).
