I read today about 4581 Asclepius, which is a small asteroid that came cosmically close to annihilating our planet on March 22, 1989 when it passed though the exact position that Earth had been only six hours earlier (here).
On March 22, 1989, I was twelve years old, absorbed by my own burgeoning teenaged narcissism and oblivious of any threat to the existence of myself, my species, or my habitat. Maybe if I was aware, it would have put my “calamitous” skin complexion in perspective. How particularly tragic to have been obliterated before I experienced any of the truly good things in life — romantic love, cigarettes, wine, skiing, foie gras, Beethoven, David Lynch, Fugazi, Wallace Stevens: Our bloom is gone. We are the fruit thereof (here).
Life is full of close calls. Earlier this week I came inches from a potentially lethal car accident when I made a right turn out of a gas station. The right lane was empty, but there was a semi truck barreling down the left lane, and he changed lanes just as I pulled out, nearly crushing my little Jetta against a construction wall with his trailer. Had he switched lanes a second earlier… had I pulled out a second earlier… my heart thumped in my chest during the remainder of my commute. A nagging voice urged me to bypass the office and head to a grassy field to sit and savor these fleeting moments of life. I repeat:
Our bloom is gone. We are the fruit thereof (here).
Because who knows when the next close call will strike? There are floods, tornados, volcanos, wildfires, earthquakes, landslide, tsunamis, avalanches, and storms. There are famines and epidemics. There is terrorism. There are collapsed blood vessels in the brain and blocked arteries in the heart. There is so much shit that I can’t control, so many ways for a life to perish. In despair, I return now to the good things in life (except for the cigarettes, which tempt close calls). I sit with a glass of red wine, listening to Beethoven’s Ninth as my husband bustles around the apartment looking for his handkerchief. Calm, lovely moments in a universe filled with asteroids and a world filled with tractor trailers.
