Emboldened by the commutation of Scooter Libby’s jail term and Bush’s evident nonchalance about leaks within his sinking Administration, White House chef Cristeta Comerford revealed to an international gathering of cooks for statesmen and royals that President Bush’s favorite meal is… the Cheeseburger Pizza.
What the hell is Cheeseburger Pizza? My brain conceptualized all sorts of hybridized foodstuffs: Soft white buns brimming with layers of beef patties and cheese pizza; two pieces of cheese pizza acting as a bun for a beef patty; and, ultimately, half-digested cheeseburgers and pizza mingling together in a puddle of vomit under a roller-coaster.
Comerford sums up the recipe by saying “every ingredient of a cheeseburger is on top of a margherita pizza.” That poor woman, with her training, credentials, and glass-ceiling smashing appointment, whipping out the word “margherita” to lend her work an air of sophistication as she struggles to maintain her dignity in front of her male peers and downplay that she spends her days making pizza with ground meat for a freaking grown man.
Some research revealed that the dish was invented in 2005 on the television show The Apprentice, and marketed by Donald Trump and Domino’s as the “American Classic Cheeseburger Pizza”. Oh yeah, classic. It’s a real traditional cuisine. We’ve been eating that for decades.
I’m not surprised that Bush’s child-like intellect is fueled by Cheeseburger Pizza rather than, say, white fish. A while ago, I had read a book review of former White House chef Walter Scheib’s memoir Eleven Years, Two Presidents, One Kitchen that highlighted how boring the Bush family’s culinary tastes were as compared to the Clintons. Just an idea: Perhaps a man whose refuses to eat hummus because it’s icky should not be allowed to make historic decisions regarding the Middle East.
