The Washington Times is reporting that NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg is prepared to spend $1 billion of his fortune on a presidential campaign, should he decide to run. Insiders report that Bloomberg has met with Ross Perot’s “senior people” to discuss the harrowing logistics of the rich guy third-party presidential run. Unfortunately, it cannot involve the late, great Admiral Stockdale as a running mate, but when you’ve got a billion dollars, you can hire a whole army of old men to stand at your side and ask “Who am I? Why am I here?”
The 2008 Presidential Election is on pace for record-breaking fundraising. The candidates are building up their arsenals by glad-handing wealthy contributors, with an occasional whistle-stopping the proles. I saw Mitt Romney on TV last week, eating at a local diner. He looked terrified, forking pie in his stiff mouth while a teased-hair waitress and a dozen cameras looked on. Are Mormons allowed to eat pleasurable foodstuffs like pie, in mixed company, with unclenched bowels?
Even though I voted for him as Governor as Massachusetts, I just don’t see Mitt Romney winning. In fact, I don’t see any of the current crop being wholly embraced by a majority of Americans. Maybe it’s their fault, maybe it’s our fault, but my point is: The more money that is involved, the more catty, corny political advertisements we will be subjected to.
Enter Bloomberg and his rich guy power grab. Welcome to my farcical dystopian nightmare. I have nothing against Bloomberg, but after 8 years of corruption and non-accountability, America needs integrity. We need a candidate who is buoyed to the top by the optimism and confidence of voters, not $1 billion dollars cash. We need… um… is Christopher Walken really running?
