Symphony-going is fraught with little rules of decorum, most of which can be and are ignored. The only undisputed rule is literally written on the wall, projected on the stage partition before the music begins: “Please turn off all electronic devices.” A friendly reminder, under penalty of public mortification.
But a ringing cell phone isn’t the only thing capable of evoking the ire of 2000 little old ladies. At last night’s performance featuring violinist Anne-Sophie Mutter and her ex-husband, conductor and composer Andre Previn, an enthusiastic attendee somewhere in the back of the first balcony twice reminded me of the most fundamental rule of watching a classical music performance:
Do not clap until someone else claps!
The problem last night had to do with the derelict’s lack of understanding about movements, that just because the orchestra stops playing, doesn’t mean it’s safe to break out in pronounced clapping. The first time, people murmured. The second time, people were outraged. I’ve never seen such a fine class of people come so close to collectively snarling. Let me repeat:
Do not clap until someone else claps!
Yes, logically this rule doesn’t pan out, because if everyone follows it, then the entire audience is left constipated with gratitude, and the orchestra is just sitting there in incredulous silence, and then the cello section starts bawling, the violists are abhorred, and the percussionists are retaliating. But rest assured, the audience is filled with classical music aficionados who are eager to demonstrate familiarity with a particular piece by getting off the first clap, and it will ring out and quickly be followed by a rousing applause, upon which one can safely begin to strike palms in appreciation.
