A couple in Sweden baptized their 6-month old daughter as “Metallica,” and is now fighting the Swedish authorities to have her name officially registered as such. The couple is upset because Metallica cannot obtain a passport until her name is approved, which is holding up her European tour and disappointing legions of devoted fans.
Says her mother about the name, “It suits her. She’s decisive and she knows what she wants.” She also has a growling, macho cry that often digresses into breakneak-cadenced heaving before fading away into a distorted whine. She doesn’t care much for breast feeding, having already developed a taste for whiskey. And needless to say, she’s a head-banger.
No nickname for little Metallica has been decided, but her siblings call her Twisted Sister.
(I liked this story because as a teenager I dubbed myself “Megadeth.” I’ve never been a fan of Megadeth’s music, but it rhymed, and I didn’t mind paying homage to a band whose debut album was called Killing is My Business… And Business is Good. But I stopped short of legally changing my name to Megadeth, because if I were to go to the trouble of changing my name to emulate a musical group, I would choose something more feminine, like Pantera, Mudhoney or Bangles.)
