Psychologists differentiate emotions from feelings, in that an emotion orginates in the nervous system as an innate response to external stimulus, and a feeling is a byproduct of the emotion. For example, on considering the devastation of meaningless war, humans automatically experience the emotion sadness, causing most to feel grief and sorrow, while others feel outrage, and still others feel total pig-headed indifference and an utter lack of responsibility.
Since emotions are biologically rooted, they are linked to physical responses such as facial expressions. Cross-cultural studies have found 6 emotions to have universal facial recognition, suggesting that these are the 6 basic human emotions: Happiness, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, and disgust. (Other emotions, such as joy, curiosity, acceptance, shame, and desire, cannot be reliably identified in facial expressions across time and society).
In my experience, the only activity for which all 6 universal human emotions are induced in seamless transition is: Shoe shopping.
Happiness: Today will be the day that I find a pair of comfortable shoes that will aesthetically affirm my femininity! No longer will I have to choose between the comfort and stealth of sexless sneakers, and the style of pointy, hobbling heels. I have the means, the motivation, and the time to scour the shoe racks of Boston for that perfect all-season fancy-casual footwear that showcases my classic good taste and spectacular calf muscles.
Surprise: Ugly… tight… how does this stay on one’s foot?… blister-causing… skin-cinching… ouch, OUCH… Why, none of these shoes are comfortable to even stand in, let alone walk in!
Fear: Thousands of shoes… and none of them work. My feet are abnormal. I will never by able to find nice shoes that conform to this hideously large and misshapen appendages.
Anger: What kind of maniac has a wardrobe that can complement pink and yellow plaid pumps? How do shoe manufacturers get away with peddling these strappy, heeled, pointed sandal espadrille boot thingamajiggers under the guise of foot apparel? These are downright defective products that cannot safely worn by any human.
Disgust: Any woman who shobs herself in these stilts is subjecting herself to disordered walking. Wearing them is tantamount to foot binding, in that mobility is sacrificed for fashion and sexist notions of female footwear. We don’t deserve equality.
Sadness: I’m walking in a pair of Skechers Biker Mary Janes. Yes, I’m walking briskly and without pain, but without any added height or stiletto swagger. I’m walking, mired in woe, for truly I cannot be a woman wearing Mary Janes.
