The “swank” factor for Maine inns can be positively correlated with a high percentage of SUVs in the parking lot with NY and NJ license plates. Our inn was uber-swanky – a resort, even. There were way more families than couples. Wealthy families, since it’s an exponentially more expensive option than a week-long rental. Not quite Rockefeller-wealthy, but you probably don’t worry about college tuition if you’re laying out $25 nightly for an 8-year old’s dinner.
The ambiance in the inn’s common areas would have been pleasant if not for the domineering presence of indulged brats exhibiting no shyness over public outbursts. I realize that children have a tantrum phase, and sometimes even the most stalwart parents cannot dissuade little Brianna or Tyler from sitting on the floor and wailing. But I’m not blaming the 5-year old for having a meltdown while the adults dawdle over their torte and port after a 2-hour formal dinner.
Parents often respond to ill-behaved offspring with empty threats (“You keep this up and you can’t go to the arcade later”), though most child psychologists confirm that this is not an effective long-term behavioral modification strategy. I suspect such parental admonishments are designed to publicly acknowledge the egregious behavior of their little monster and demonstrate a firm willingness to correct it. Alas, they do little to brighten the spirits of the audience (us). I’m sure not thinking “I hope that kid keeps doing cannonballs in the pool! Then he won’t have a PlayStation tonight! Ha ha ha!”
“Stop it now! People are trying to relax and don’t want to hear that!” said a mother to her young son as he hooted and jumped in the lobby. How nice that the mother acknowledges what a pain in the ass her son is. How horrible that she does nothing to correct it except appeal to a young boy’s undeveloped empathy.
Only one parent won my genuine admiration for his parenting skills. In the outside heated 92-degree pool (pictured below, courtesy Mr. Pinault), three sub-10-year kids were stopped by their father from playing Marco Polo. They acquiesced, but demanded to know “Why can’t we play Marco Polo, Dad?”
The father picked up one of his sons and held him out of the water in the freezing air. “Because no one in this pool paid good money to listen to you guys play Marco Polo. Not even me.”
