…A leaf for everyone, a meal for no one…
Another month, another batch of my favorite search engine queries, which are increasingly persnickety, perhaps because my site would not rank in the top 50 million for any really popular queries that have entire industries devoted to garnering revenue-generating clicks (although, a tip for enterprising pervs: Judging by the plague of hits for porn involving Meredith Vieira, there is a market need going unsatisfied.)
The sophistication of the queries compelled me to break them down into categories. Some qualify for two or even three categories, like woman who find children’s entertainer ‘the great zucchini’ sexy, which is slightly all of the following: Interrogative, Smut, Celebrity, and Misspelled. I picked Smut by virtue of the subject’s moniker.
The last category, Perquisite, contains queries that don’t fit under any other category, but tickle my aesthetic sense, like a bonus for doing this website. More satisfying than money or recognition, it’s gratifying to know that the authors were here, on this website, if only long enough to think “Why, this has nothing to do with knitted toilet tissue covers!”
INTERROGATIVE
why do the jets disintegrate on my hot tub
places to eat in wisconsin dolls that ar highly expensive
what is the name of the girl in the royal caribbean cruise commercials that refuses to smile
is armani code for men the same as armani black code for men
is racism fueled by jealousy or fear
is there a connection with target stores and the french
what does the clean cover of ritual de lo habitual say
where is a poem about a boyfriend stealing your moms money
why rosie palm is better than girls
SMUT
umass sluts partying
sluts dressed in skirtsuits
x-rated pictures of men in kilts
redneck licking hoi
nude red headed males
gay hang outs in ventura california
spanked fat chicks
woman who find children’s entertainer ‘the great zucchini’ sexy
teens rape couth on tape
“mary lou’s coffee” hooters
CELEBRITIES
“emily post” holocaust interview
“hitler’s last meal”
mitt romeny boxers or briefs
chris farley’s unmade movie
email jokes about george bush the dumbo
bond casino royale daniel craig “blue eyes” “contact lenses”
piet mondrian stray
marietta fortune
olsen twin crackman
diagnosing matt damon in goodwill hunting
joakim noah’s religion
barry gibb denim shirt
QUOTATION
“eye mucus” idiom
“closet chubby chaser”
“lust for the gutter”
“women on top” “role reversal”
“stripping to my bra”
rape wedding crashers “gone with the wind”
“bend it like beckham” “orientalism”
older woman younger man “middle east”
“cambridge inspired me”
“coke zero” headache
MISSPELLED
puetorican god
hiring outside tiolets for weddings
pitchers of kegel exercises
becuise have you
see my nude stoking
PERQUISITE
ban deodorant loneliness
ban drinking ensure right before you eat make you gain weight
meth joke mini bake oven
meredith meeting clorox
subtle to violent ways to seek revenge
bale strapping hummer
knitted toilet tissue covers
priam retrieves hector’s body
nutrition for gyming
going to get an office job and make a lot of money like the rest of the phonies
her ass
