Five things I’ve become more conscious of since getting married over three months ago:
1. The power of the word ‘husband.’ In society’s eyes, the next best thing to being a man is being legally bound to one. At first, the words “my husband” felt strange on my lips, but then I noticed the effect that it had on people. For instance, when I first met a neighbor — a mother with young children — she noticably warmed to me after I mentioned “my husband.” In a restaurant, when I sat alone at a table and told the waiter I was waiting for “my husband,” he softened his determined hurriedness and brought me a breadbasket. Even people who I’ve known for years seem a little more respectful of me when I mention “my husband.” It confers a stability and maturity that “my boyfriend” just can’t.
2. Wedding rings. As a single girl, I never checked out people’s left-hand ring fingers. I noticed rings incidentally, in the same way that I’d notice watches. But as a married woman, I routinely check out people’s ring fingers. In fact, it’s my favorite new subway game.
3. My husband’s diet. “Did you eat anything green today?” “Don’t you want eggs instead of waffles?” “More bok choy?” “Do you really need that much sugar in your coffee?” “Do you want some banana in your cereal?” “No, we would not like to see a dessert menu.”
4. Surnames. According to this nifty interactive widget that shows the 5000 most common surnames in the United States (here), I’ve gone from having the 37th most common surname to one that is completely off the charts. Yes, my last name is less common than Booher, Baeza, and McGinley.
5. Life’s cruel brevity. Maybe it’s just the newlywed talking, but I can’t imagine life without him, and I’m prone to anxiety concerning his physical well-being. When he’s due home from work, I’ll fret about a siren in the distance. When he goes out for a run, I’ll beg him to be careful. And me, what if something happens to me? I picture him alone and in grief, and it tears my heart apart and makes me determined to live forever.
