The issue is so hot, it’s scorching the glue off of Post-It easel pads in meetings of highly-developed Human Resource departments across the country. Savvy, slothful, and sloppy Generation Y is entering the workplace and clashing with the staid, stolid, solid Boomers. “What we’re finding is a lot of differences between the culture of the established company and this new crop of workers,” says one keen-eyed, brilliant HR professional. Differences lead to conflict, conflict leads to violence, and the next thing you know, you got sobbing 60-year olds trying to strangle near-naked 22-year olds with their antiquated mouse cords. And there goes the HR director’s annual bonus.
Manpower experts have determined key points of contention include appropriate dress, working habits, and general attitude. “Boomers respect authority; millennials question it,” says the article. Wait, didn’t boomers once define themselves by their youthful questioning of authority? Could this conflict simply be the normal result of old people and young people being placed in the same room? Isn’t the real problem that boomers no longer have relevant knowledge and skills for today’s marketplace, and hence lord their seniority over everyone’s heads while fiercely guarding their ignorance in order to preserve their livelihood?
I mean, come on. Everyone knows that the boomers created flex time in order to spend more time with their children, and the millennials are merely demanding their fair share of it so that they’re not stuck having to do all their Facebooking at the office while their manager is “working at home,” which really means buying a vacation home on Cape Cod.
(The article scarcely mentions Generation Xers like myself, but we’re the ones who are actually working.)
