Today was the quarterly REI Garage Sale, which is a members-only sale of returned and overstocked merchandise at un-freaking-believable prices. For instance, at the Garage Sale last November, Mr. P and I walked away with 2 pairs of backcounty skis and boots, 1 pair of Alpine skis and boots, 2 pairs of high-quality womens hiking boots, and a few random items of clothing, all for about $120. With deals like this, the normally peaceful REI customer will get in touch with his inner stampeding consumerist.
The sale started at 10am and we arrived at 8:40am to get in line. About 40 people were ahead of us. Mostly college kids, all outdoorsy types, placid on the surface but each one salivating at the thought of cut-rate sporting goods, clothes, and accessories. A small group had spent the night camping in a tent to secure the first place in line. One of the campers milled around in cut-off jeans, as if to say “I spent my Christmas break hiking mountains in Alaska, so camping in 15-degree weather in suburban Boston is like a trip to the tropics.”
After securing a place in line, I headed to the neighboring Dunkin Donuts to fetch breakfast. A father and pubescent son walked by with a box of Munchkins. “Dad, what’s going on?” the son asked, staring at the line. “Guess there’s a kayak sale,” the man said in a voice dripping with derision. Damn kayakers!
The line grew and grew until it wrapped around the building. Finally at 9:55am, an REI employee announced that the doors would be opening and then pleaded for calm. Mr. P and I had planned to rush to the shoe section at the back of the store, but the first thing we saw was a pair of Rossignol XC skating skis — the perfect size for me (Retail: around $200 with bindings, Garage Sale: $49.83). Mr. P then grabbed himself a pair of backcountry ski boots and a pair of classic ski boots (Retail: around $70 each, Garage Sale: $15.83 each).
We split up. I happened upon of a table of bags and immediately grabbed 4 of them (a common Garage Sale tactic is to snatch first and look later. It’s obnoxious, but so are the college dudes who hoarded all the snowshoes). I ended up keeping only the Sherpani Vida backpack (Retail: $80, Garage Sale: $12.83). I collect backpacks like other women collect purses. “How many backpacks do you need?” Mr. P asked. “But this one is slightly bigger than my brown backpack, and smaller than my black backpack,” I explain. “And it’s so cute!”
The closest thing to pandemonium at the Garage Sale was at the women’s clothes rack. I waited until the frenzy abated and then found an REI Madrona Jacket (Retail: $129, Garage Sale: $19.83), which bills itself as combining “casual good looks and weather-ready performance for city dwellers and urban adventures.” Windproof at up to 60mph… now that’s a coat for Boston. The discount tag explained that the jacket had suffered “water damage” in the store, but I found no damage. How can a rain jacket sustain water damage, anyway?
Meanwhile, Mr. P found a pair of rechargeable Motorola walkie talkies (Retail: $50, Garage Sale: $18.83) and a pair of slightly-used Asics running shoes (Retail: around $80, Garage Sale $9.83). By then, about 45 minutes after the doors had opened, the Garage Sale was winding down. Everything worth getting had been snatched up. Latecomers picked through the Garage Sale remainders, the weirdly-sized shoes, damaged goods, and white elephants like quilted ear covers, sports-themed Christmas ornaments, and yoga calendars. I got in line with our stuff and Mr. P continued to scavenge the store for deals. And that’s how we ended up with 2 large quick-drying camping towels (Retail: $16 each, Garage Sale: $7.83 each).
How stoked am I? Next Garage Sale, maybe we’ll pitch the tent in REI’s parking lot and get some sweet camping gear.
